From Crayola Crayons to Keeping Musicians Employed

In these difficult and uncertain times, we often seek comfort from the friends and family who mean the most to us. For me, my mother is my touchstone. I hope you’ll enjoy these memories I’m sharing—and I’d love to know who sustains you. Be well.

When I work with my clients, I am sometimes reminded of the wealth in my own family’s legacy. It informs me about my passions—and why I pursue them. Recently, I’ve been thinking about what I know about my mom. Although, sadly, she passed in 2002, the discoveries keep unfolding. It’s heartening that my passion for giving and making a difference for my clients enables me to do the same with my life.

Looking back it is easier to see that my mother was very creative. She would decorate our home and bake for the holidays with her signature flair, of course. When it came to Christmas presents from Santa for me, she had three intentions. The gifts were (1) to further my learning, something like books, flash cards, puzzles, and workbooks, (2) to encourage play with dolls, marbles, and game boards, or (3) to spur my creativity with art supplies. 

From Crayola crayons and coloring books, to watercolors and sketch pads, to her encouraging my grandfather to purchase my first Kodak Tele-Ektra camera, she knew just the right ways to spur my imagination.

Mom and me

Today, I’m able to reconnect to the bliss and delight of my creativity through problem-solving for businesses and building strategic giving plans for donors. When I realized my newfound enthusiasm for contemporary music was building as a result of a new client, I traced its roots back to the support I received from my mother for self-expression. (Fun note is that fortunately, my partner, Scott, is also enjoying the concerts. I’m lucky I don’t need to “drag” him behind me to performances.)

SFCMP YouTube channel:

"The Ice is Talking" by Vivian Fung performed by SFCMP, Haruka Fujii percussion

For these reasons, I am happy that the San Francisco Contemporary Music Players are a part of my work and play. Full disclosure is the Board hired my firm to help them enhance how they and the staff execute their strategic plan for the ensemble’s 50th anniversary this fall. When I listen to newly composed pieces and absorb the group’s beaming blend of joy and singular talent, I’m reminded of my mom’s foresight and planning.

Thanks to the seeds of creativity she planted, I am open to countless ways of expression—like hearing the Contemporary Music Players coax melodies from two blocks of ice during the U.S premiere of a new work by Bay Area resident and Canadian composer Vivian Fung, a graduate of The Juilliard School. You can share the dynamic experience here as Haruka Fujii displays her artistry in the performance.

The Contemporary Music Players have thrived in the Bay Area as a nonprofit. They got their start playing in the galleries of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. It is fantastic as a visual arts lover that I can “listen to modern art,” as Eric Dudley, the group’s artistic director, is fond of saying. Who knew that was even possible?  

Lisa Oman, the executive director, likes to remind us that the group’s performances serve another important purpose:  “Our work has a direct impact on our musician’s livelihoods and helps ensure they remain employed.”

Board retreat

SFMOMA poster

“The Ice is Talking,” Haruka Fujii, percussionist playing on blocks of ice. [Photo by Stephen B. Hahn]

“How Music is Made with Myra Melford,” Eric Dudley and Pianist, Composer Myra Melford, on stage at SF Jazz Center. [Photo by Stephen B. Hahn]

As I continue to nourish my passion for creativity—whether through my own work with clients or through the artistry of groups like the Contemporary Music Players—my mother is never far away, inspiring me, guiding me, and leading me to new experiences.

Family Philanthropy: Giving by Example

How do we choose to make a difference in the world? Some of us give from our wallets. Some of us build with our hands. Some of us contribute our time and expertise. However we engage in helping others, one of the best ways to establish a legacy of family philanthropy is giving by example.

Nancy Porten grew up in a family of modest means, but that didn’t mean her family couldn’t give to others. Nancy’s mother volunteered, and she talked to Nancy about the charities that were important to her. When Nancy reached high school, she followed her mother’s example, becoming a candy striper at a local hospital. The tradition of giving continued as she grew up, married, and started a family. As Nancy's family became more affluent, she continued to give by example to instill these values in her children, and she looked for new ways to contribute in the world.

While trekking to Everest Base Camp with her husband and children in 2008, Nancy discovered a like-minded connection with her guide, Deana Zabaldo. They both felt a connection to Nepal and a desire to help the people there. Deana had served as a Peace Corps volunteer in Nepal and then became a professional trekking guide who gave back as part of her ethical travel standards. Nancy, too, wanted to help the people in this country that had touched her and her family on their journey to the top of the world. 

Through a combination of private donations, selling ethically sourced jewelry, and volunteer work, Deana and Nancy created a diverse financial base for supporting sustainable development. Together, they founded Changing Lives Nepal (www.changinglivesnepal.org) and began to support education and poverty alleviation. Eleven years later, their projects include a home for orphaned and abandoned children, construction and repair of classrooms at rural schools, and sustainable organic farms to create a reliable source of income in rural villages.

Nancy’s efforts were as visible and influential to her daughter Bethany as her own mother’s volunteering had been years before. As a high school senior in 2013, Bethany took the initiative to create Beads for Batase, selling prayer bead bracelets from Nepal to raise money and donate computers to the village school in Batase, Nepal. Bethany participated in community events and sold her beads locally—including at a booth for a July 4th town festival. She also ran an email fundraising campaign for her family and friends while maintaining a social media campaign that featured blog posts on her progress. She successfully raised enough funds and then personally traveled to this small and remote village to help install the computers that she had pre-loaded with software and support the students and teachers. 

Bethany continues to have an awareness and dedication to giving back. She did a return trip in 2014, when she and Nancy got to see how the computers were involved in the students’ and educators’ work. It was the school’s administrators who also found value in having the computers and software to make their jobs easier. Today, Bethany is pursuing naturopathic school in the service of others’ health and disease prevention.

Three generations of philanthropy: grandmother, mother, and daughter. A legacy of giving to support others in need. Making a difference in ways that matter to them.

A Life Lesson From Mother to Son

It can be an uncomfortable conversation when a mother discusses birth control with her adolescent son. 

But Linda, whose name has been changed for this story, was a counselor for Planned Parenthood and understood that her son should know how to avoid unplanned pregnancies.

Her son, whom we’ll call Brad, appreciated Linda’s frankness, and they became a good team when he later taught an anatomy class at a Southern California university. 

Although the curriculum didn’t call for sex education, Brad would include it because he had learned from his mother how little most people discussed how to prevent unwanted births. 

Linda would provide birth control devices as teaching tools for Brad’s students, 90 percent of whom were typically women.

“Often people don’t know the difference between an IUD and a diaphragm,” Brad says.

Although Linda died many years ago, her lessons about the importance of sexual education still resonate with Brad. He donates to Planned Parenthood in her memory.

Brad and his wife believe young women in the United States need a healthcare option that works for them – especially if they are young, pregnant and not ready or financially able to raise a child.

Through Brad’s regular donations to Planned Parenthood – and the giving of others – women have an opportunity to decide their direction.

Bridging My Ties

Building relationships and making meaningful connections are two of my favorite parts of working as a philanthropic advisor. Recently, I collaborated with my colleague Andrea Huff to help her client Peter Jewett develop new contacts that could shape his vision for the future. Andrea is an executive coach who specializes in partnering with people who are making the transition from full-time work to the next stage of their lives, often a very active retirement.

She asked me to connect Peter, co-founder of Farallon Consulting, an environmental consulting and engineering firm, to my contacts in nonprofit organizations. Andrea and I share the goals of helping our clients determine what will be the most satisfying use of their resources in the next stage of life, including their purpose, building a legacy during their retirement and philanthropy. We collaborate through a process that is both holistic and realistic. 

Andrea emphasizes three facets of collaboration when working with clients: accountability, mindset shift and getting to the essence. I go into more detail on them below as well as the services she offers.

Photo courtesy of Peter Jewett

Peter, an engineering geologist, was arriving at his retirement after founding, growing and now selling Farallon, where he had worked for the past 20 years. He is also a proponent for the sustainable use of our natural resources and likes to kayak in his leisure time. Andrea and I thought my experience with environmentally focused nonprofits and foundations would be an ideal starting point to make introductions.

His vision was to have an active retirement that could match his former work life in terms of contribution and make the best use of his background. Peter wanted to explore how he could use his time and expertise to consult with a nonprofit meaningfully. The opportunity to demonstrate his experience was key for Peter to open up new relationships and perspectives about the next stage in his life.

I thought about where he would be a great fit and what organizations could benefit from his skills and started with two introductions. After Peter met with my contact at a policy foundation on natural resources, he felt government-related initiatives were of less interest. However, when I was able to identify a leading global scientist on oceans who had a focus on coral reef systems, this piqued his curiosity to meet her. 

The ocean scientist contact, who advises scientists and institutional foundations, responded positively to our introduction. She thoughtfully crafted a vision document on her goal to map all the waterways to better understand up- and downstream impacts on ocean life. She was also immediately open to connect with Peter and determine how they could collaborate.

As we are in the midst of their conversation, their specific outcomes are evolving. But it’s clear their relationship may hold promise for a mutually beneficial engagement. By collaborating, Andrea and I were able to free Peter from extensive research and provide an opportunity to fulfill his aspirations for a purposeful retirement more quickly.

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For more information on Andrea’s services, visit her website, AndreaHuff.com, and check out her recent book, Every Night’s Friday Night: Time and Freedom for the Rest of Your Life.

Here are her three facets of collaboration when working with clients:

1. Accountability -  Having a sounding board in transition enables advancement.

2. Mindset Shift - Seeing ideas in new ways supports progress to achieve specific goals.

3. Getting to the Essence - Incisive recommendations save clients from getting stuck.

Why go it alone when making big decisions about how to apply your talent and time in retirement or life transition? Join our personalized consultations and reap quicker and more productive results.

A Family’s Story of Support and Giving

When we think of generational giving, we often think of parents as the spark, the ones leading and shaping their children. But what happens when it’s the child who inspires the parent? Call it the multiplier effect. Here’s one family’s story …

For Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, philanthropy is second nature. While growing up, she saw in her father, Charles Schwab, a man who believes in and demonstrates giving. His support for the arts and commitment to children with learning disabilities run deep. But it wasn’t just her father’s altruism that caught her attention. Carrie also saw a man who believes in giving his children the freedom to discover their purpose.

It’s a lesson she carried forward with her own family, especially with her daughter, Leigh. It’s also one she wants to share with others. [See Carrie’s tips at the end of the story.]

When raising Leigh, Carrie thoughtfully provided a supportive environment. She had her own mission – helping women achieve economic parity and financial literacy – but it was there as a model, not a mandate. Like her father, Carrie knew when to step aside. She made room for Leigh to dream, even when those dreams would take her thousands of miles from home to Kenya and the Daraja Academy, a secondary school for girls.

Pictured: Carrie (right), and her daughter, Leigh (left), alongside students and volunteers from the Daraja Academy.

Throughout the journey, Leigh had the encouragement of her family. Yes, the distance was hard. Carrie and her husband were understandably concerned about Leigh being so far away. But they also knew this truth: When you find your passion, you have to follow it. And so when Leigh came home after her first trip and wanted to return, they backed the decision.

Then it happened. The moment when the child becomes the spark. For this return trip to Nairobi, what about Carrie going as well? There was only one answer. 

In Africa, Carrie discovered that she, too, genuinely was moved by Daraja. Now, she says, “I’m obsessed and promoting their work.” 

And that multiplier effect? It’s there as Carrie and Leigh enjoy sharing in their time and treasure. Africa is their experience. And it has changed them both.

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How do you think someone young in your life would respond to your support in their giving? These three tips from Carrie are a starting point in the discussion:

1.   Foster their passion – Do not push your passion on kids.

2.   Make it easy for them – Say “OK,” and develop boundaries.

3.   Share in it with them – Make the time to volunteer together.

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Code of Caring – Three Generations Strong

R.B. Brown, photo courtesy of Calvin Brown

A code of caring can start at home. It’s how some families define their commitment to each other. It’s their safety net ensuring no one is left out or left behind. And when that net is extended beyond the family, an indelible legacy is created.

This is the theme of one man’s vision, R.B. Brown, who was born into a family of modest means in central Oklahoma. R.B. was a self-made man who made his money in the oil industry, raised a family, and developed a code of caring in his backyard of tiny Wilson, Oklahoma.

If R.B. learned a child needed clothing to go to school, he’d frequently and anonymously buy them something to wear. On occasion, for the senior prom, he purchased suits and dresses for the needy students so that they could attend and celebrate their rite of passage. 

R.B.’s compassion and concern for others has been passed down to his son, Calvin, who is carrying on the family tradition in Wilson. After his wife, Katie, died, Calvin started a memorial scholarship in her name for graduating high school seniors. 

The annual scholarship enables one deserving senior from Wilson High School to go to college. The winner receives funding for the freshman and sophomore years, considered the most difficult to get through. To be considered, students must demonstrate scholastic achievement, be inclusive, demonstrate a pattern of giving to others in need, and be well-liked by teachers, staff, and classmates.

R.B.’s legacy of caring continues with his grandchildren, including Scott, who lives in a large city and regularly buys meals for homeless individuals he meets on the street.

What began as one man’s vision to help others has expanded over three generations. R.B.’s commitment to others and his code of caring set an example for his family and was the catalyst for a net of compassion cast far beyond Wilson.